Solution to crazy homeless people

I was walking in Downtown LA today to get some food, and saw a crazy man yelling having an argument. The odd thing is that he was arguing with himself. Its a very odd thing to watch, beause you always have to wonder if somewhere someone else is having the other side of the argument. Anyway, I looked at a business man walking down the street a minute later and he looked as though he was doing the same thing, but then I saw he had a Bluetooth ear piece in his ear and was actually talking to someone else. So, I put two and two together and figured out a way to fix the problem of crazy bums. I propose that we give them all cell phones or Bluetooth ear pieces, so they just blend in.

I think this plan could have great possibilities at fixing the current situation in some parts of downtown overcrowding of the homeless.

80's power hour

This is how I start most of my nights before I go out. I often get in the mood to dress up in neon "wearable art" such as my pink Speedo hat and listen to some sweet 80's classics. I downloaded this power hour mix onto my iPod a while ago and I've put it to good use. The standard rule for power hour is to take a shot of beer every minute, for an hour. The 80's playlist I have switches automatically every minute on the minute, which is really as long as you want to listen to an 80's song anyway. Its also come in handy for other things. For example, when I spin (bikes) at the gym I use it to keep track of the minutes.

Greatest quote, probably ever

Long-story short, my friend and I were 'cougar hunting' (which is an entire post by itself and I will go into depth later) at this bar in Carona Del Mar and my friend had the best quote I have ever heard. I did not realize his genius for a couple hours until we got home, otherwise I would have been laughing hysterically in the bar. So anyway, here's the setup:

We were standing at the bar ordering drinks, and this lady walked up and asked my friend to buy her a drink, to which he responded with:

"How about, if you end up going home with me tonight, I will reimburse you for all the drinks you buy tonight, up to $50"

She promptly responded by calling him an asshole and walking away.

I held up my part of the insult by yelling out "save your receipts" as she walked away.

What I find especially funny is that he had the presence of mind to put a $50 limit on the amount of alcohol he would cover for the night, as if that is the amount of booze it would take her to go home with him.

Jaywalking: Update

If someone is crossing the street illegally with a cane, is it still jay'walking' or is it jayhobbling, or jaylimping? I saw this old lady blatantly crossing the street today in the middle of traffic with her cane, and it made me think.

7th Man

My roommate is the co-founder of the 7th Man organization at USC. This was set up to benefit the men's tennis team, and has been gaining popularity over the last several years. Basically, its a way to get people out and attend the men's tennis team. It takes an entirely different approach to filling the seats, and it has proven to work.

How it works is simple. You buy a 7th man tee-shirt once a season for $5. Then, every time you come to a men's tennis match, you can always get free food (usually Chipotle, In-N-Out, or Pizza), free drinks (Water, Soda, and Kegs of beer in the parking lot).

The latests showing was against our crosstown rivals UCLA. They were so nervous about our intense cheering that there was an article in the Daily Bruin about the 7th Man club. Tennis is not usually a sport that has hecklers or rowdy fans. 7th Man changes all that. With a literally packed house at our home match against UCLA, the players could not handle the pressure. Several of their top players showed obvious signs of frustration as they lost to the trojans, something they have not done in over two years.

Funny things to do to your friend's phone

1. Sign them up for those cheesy text-messaging services you see commercials for. The best ones are the joke of the day and the fortune-telling service.
2. Send a text message to every girl in a guy's phone saying "um, we need to talk."
3. Send a text message to every girl in a guy's phone saying "you're mean."
4. Ask to use their phone when they're intoxicated, preferably late at night. Then find "home" in their address book and dial it. From there you can do a number of things that require your imagination.
5. In the settings menu, change the language to anything but English.
6. Borrow their phone for a minute, then change their voice mail message to something funny/creepy/inappropriate.
7. Set multiple alarms starting at 4:30am and as many as you have the patients to put in after that.
8. Disable any alarms they have set to get up in the morning for work/school.
9. If you're in class, change their ringer from silent to loud, then call them a minute later.
10. Send a text message to everyone in their entire address book saying "I'M THE MAN" as late as possible.

The Vegas

For my friend's 22nd birthday a couple weeks ago, we were sitting around on a Tuesday night at 9pm and deciding how to celebrate. We didn't want to do the same old thing at bar around campus (notice I used the singular 'bar' because we live in a third world city that only has one bar). So, we figured that in a couple months we won't be able to do whatever we want on any Tuesday night and that we should take full advantage. We decided to drive to Vegas around 9:30pm, not get a hotel room and drive back in the morning.
A couple of us made it even more exciting for the birthday boy. When he said he wanted to go to Las Vegas, three of us looked at each other with that "lets mess with him a little first" look. By now we know that look when we see it. We acted all pissed and told him that it was a selfish idea and that he should just go with his roommates, who were already packing their car that only had five seats (there were 8 of us total). All we did was act really pissed that they would go without us, then waited twenty minutes and hit the road in our own car. We got to the hotel they were gambling at and snuck up behind them and surprised them with our presence. Overall, it was a fantastic trip and probably the best possible way to do a Vegas trip. Oh, and it didn't hurt that I left $350 richer. I am a lucky person.

Yata yata yata. You don't think she'd yata yata sex, do you?

Sorry, I haven't updated lately. Midterms and such have been ruining my life, and I have to prioritize. Even though I enjoy writing these 'waste of time' posts, I've had to cut down, so now everyone who usually reads this should be more productive.

My next post is half written and has been sitting in the draft box for a while. I can tell you now that its entitled "breaking stuff." Its by far my most intelligent and mature post yet.

If you have any ideas or stories about destruction of property for fun, just comment and I'll work it in.

NORTHERN CALIFORNIA IS JUST DIFFERENT

This clip from an actual news report in Oakland speaks for itself. Check out Bubb Rubb the "whistle fan" and Lil' Sis when they take off in their car towards the end of the clip and drive out of control on the wrong side of the street and blow through a stop sign.


This is another pretty ridiculous Norcal clip about these two guys who love their Oakland A's...and ghostriding...


Both of these clips make me feel thankful to be from Southern California and not South Oregon aka Northern California.